She Ain’t Heavy, She’s My Kardashian

Hell hath no fury like a bastion of discounted ruched knit scorned by a woman with an ass like a zeppelin. Foxy fat ass Kim Kardashian is reportedly very upset that US Weekly recently used her name and likeness in a blurb about an upcoming plus sized fashion line from Jesus-loving teen clothing shop Forever 21. So upset that she made a semi-official statement on her blog : I am a huge fan of Forever 21 and I’m very happy they have expanded their line to include a plus-size range, but I am not in that size category and this article makes it sound like I am! I am a curvy girl and I love my curves, but curvy and plus-sized are two very different things. I work really hard to maintain my curves while staying slim and healthy, so to be classed as a “fuller-figured woman” of extra large proportions is a little offensive. For the record, I am a size 2, not 2XL. Thanks for clearing that up, Kim. We’re sure all the plus-sized girls who fit the new line you’re so happy exists are grateful for your offense. You might as well just make gagging sounds while you say that, and then wipe the fatty cooties onto Nicole Richie, squealing and crossing your fingers to innoculate yourself from the virulent strain of imaginary invasive lipids. And “curvy” is actually the celeb media’s way of saying “Blubberpotamus”.

Zac Doesn’t Have His Happy Face On

Zacquisha must be pooped out! And going through “a lot”! Yesterday, we told you how Zacquisha dropped out of the Footloose remake. Apparently, he wants to do less musicals and be treated as a “real” actor. Today, Tuesday, Zac was spotted in Paris attending the photocall for his latest flick, 17 Again , at the Hotel Plaza Athenee. But unlike his usual hot self, Zac showed up in plain skinny jeans, a plain blue t-shirt, and a brown belt. Plus he just looked SO BORED! Seriously ‘Quisha, you got paid big bucks to do this flick. Might as well “act” happy to be there! Do U think Zefron be taking a break from acting soon? Or maybe he was just having a bad day? Whatever it is, we want our normal Zac back! [ Images via WENN .]

New NYC Radio Station!

Since I work at home now I am always looking for radio stations to listen to online… and nothing really holds me captive anymore, really… it’s sad. So this new station just launched in NYC, I didn’t get to listen all day like I wanted to – we had some errands to run, but now I’m home and they’re playing Jump Around by House of Pain at 3:29 in the afternoon… oh, and no commercials for a while anyway.  If you’re looking for something to listen to at work might as well check it out now while there’s nothing but music and fun stuff… Since I’m such a radio geek this is a huge thing I just wanted to share. www.923now.com

OJ Simpson Has No Problem Accepting Handouts

You might as well throw your money into a fire before handing it over to OJ ! Barrett Prody, the brother of the Juice’s ex-girlfriend, has started a nonprofit group to raise money for Simpson’s legal bills! Uhm, yeah right! Like we’d really contribute to that ! Prody started the Society Against Legal Injustice Inc. to “leverage [Simpson's] name in an effort to right an injustice out there in Las Vegas.” The infamous actor/football player was found guilty of kidnapping and armed robbery in a 2007 incident in which Simpson stole OJ memorabilia from two sports collectible dealers at gunpoint in a Vegas hotel room. Simpson’s lawyers have pitched in their two cents on the organization, stating “It seems that Barrett has the best of intentions, but whatever he’s doing is on a separate track with what we’re doing.” His lawyers also confirmed that OJ’s trial and appellate fees were “basically paid.” So where are the big legal bills coming from? It’s been said that Simpson owes $33.5 million in “punitive damages” to the Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson estates after being found liable of their 1994 murders in a civil suit following his acquittal during the circus of a murder trial in 1995. So if you donate to Prody’s fund, you’ll be supporting the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman??? Ick!!!

Scarlett Johansson Wants to Go Big Pimpin’ in the Wild West

Bosomy Scarlett Johansson is just dying to be a whore. She wants it SO bad! Please, please, someone take mercy on the poor girl and let her fulfill her whoring dreams. Any takers? Reports The Sun : SCARLETT JOHANSSON wants to run a brothel. But hold your horses there, the Lost In Translation actress is simply chasing her next career move. The buxom beauty is lusting after a role in a western, desperate to take a trip back in time to the Wild West. Scarlett said: “Every actor wants to work on a western. I would run a brothel, like a madam or something. “I’m working with what I got. It’s only so long that people are going to want to see me in a corset.” She added: “So I might as well do it now.” Scarlett dressed as a wench? Yee-ha! Does Scarlett have a to-do list consisting of all the parts she needs to play before she can start letting herself go and cramming her maw full of pound cake and sheets of fudge? “1) Brothel owner in Wild West 2) Super sexy stripper (pasties only, please!) 3) Failing college student who seduces her professors with her awesome boobs 4) First ever bra model 5) Heidi Klum.” Because we’d see each and every one of those movies. Multiple times. But we would never stop bitching about the second one.

Scarlett Johansson Wants to Go Big Pimpin’ in the Wild West

Bosomy Scarlett Johansson is just dying to be a whore. She wants it SO bad! Please, please, someone take mercy on the poor girl and let her fulfill her whoring dreams. Any takers? Reports The Sun : SCARLETT JOHANSSON wants to run a brothel. But hold your horses there, the Lost In Translation actress is simply chasing her next career move. The buxom beauty is lusting after a role in a western, desperate to take a trip back in time to the Wild West. Scarlett said: “Every actor wants to work on a western. I would run a brothel, like a madam or something. “I’m working with what I got. It’s only so long that people are going to want to see me in a corset.” She added: “So I might as well do it now.” Scarlett dressed as a wench? Yee-ha! Does Scarlett have a to-do list consisting of all the parts she needs to play before she can start letting herself go and cramming her maw full of pound cake and sheets of fudge? “1) Brothel owner in Wild West 2) Super sexy stripper (pasties only, please!) 3) Failing college student who seduces her professors with her awesome boobs 4) First ever bra model 5) Heidi Klum.” Because we’d see each and every one of those movies. Multiple times. But we would never stop bitching about the second one.

Lindsay Definitely Wears The Pants

Apparently SamRo and Lindsay Lohan’s relationship isn’t all lesbian bliss and fluffy pillows. Reports have surfaced that the muff-diving duo spent NYE arguing at Miami nightclub mansion. The argument eventually made it’s way into an alley and Lindsay shouted “When I storm off, you are supposed to follow me!” Our spy said, “It was a really gross alley. There was a bum eating a sandwich watching the whole thing. Lindsay was really unstable and flipping out.” After Lohan and Ronson went back to the hotel, several sources heard crashing sounds and screaming coming from their room until the fight spilled out into the hallways at about 11 a.m. “They were punching each other, it was bad,” a spy said. “And they were doing this in front of all of us. It was scary.” At one point, Lohan dropped to her knees and cried, “Why are you doing this to me?” And Sam just said, “I don’t know you.” Eventually hotel security was called and photos were taken of the girls’ “trashed” room. “Mirrors were broken and it was a complete mess,” another spy said. Several hours later, still fighting, Lohan and Ronson tried to board an American Airlines flight back to Los Angeles. Lohan was said to be such a mess before takeoff that flight attendants asked her if she’d like to disembark. She refused. Damn! See, I always knew that Linz wore the pants in this relationship. She bats for both teams so she might as well take the masculine role. That, or she’s back on the powdah. Source

No More J Hotel

Last year, it was announced that Jay-Z would be opening up his own hotel, J Hotel, on New York’s West Side. Cuz when you have the amount of money he has, you might as well invest and try different things! But, unfortunately, it seems the bad economy has ruined his plans. Cue the violins! Apparently, developer Charles Blaichman (of Soho House) can’t secure the proper financing for the hotel. So, instead they’re just going to try and rent out the former Time Warner Cable warehouse. It seems Blaichman is having problems borrowing an estimated $370 million for three hotels, one of which would have been a venture with Jay-Z. So what’s a rapper to do now????

No More J Hotel

Last year, it was announced that Jay-Z would be opening up his own hotel, J Hotel, on New York’s West Side. Cuz when you have the amount of money he has, you might as well invest and try different things! But, unfortunately, it seems the bad economy has ruined his plans. Cue the violins! Apparently, developer Charles Blaichman (of Soho House) can’t secure the proper financing for the hotel. So, instead they’re just going to try and rent out the former Time Warner Cable warehouse. It seems Blaichman is having problems borrowing an estimated $370 million for three hotels, one of which would have been a venture with Jay-Z. So what’s a rapper to do now????

There WILL Be a 5th Season of The Hills

Sorry, y’all. Unfortunately, there WILL be another season of The Hills . Audrina Patridge blabbed the news this weekend…and more! “There is going to be a fifth season. We just found out. At one point, all of us were like, ‘No, we don’t want to do another season,’” she said. “I wanted to do more movies, and Whitney moved to New York and she’s doing her own spin-off. We have fun with each other and we’ve stuck it out this long. We might as well do another one,” said the brunette. Uh huh. Just come clean y’all and say MTV offered up a bunch of money and you couldn’t say no! Audrina also confirmed that Lauren Conrad is dating that actor guy and that the romance won’t be on The Hills . It figures! The fake reality show won’t feature real reality! Audrina explained, “He can’t be on the show because he’s on another show, so that makes it hard.” So, L.C. was full of shiz when she said she was ‘ready to walk away’ from The Hills . No surprise! [ Image via Mavrix Online. ]

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