She Ain’t Heavy, She’s My Kardashian

Hell hath no fury like a bastion of discounted ruched knit scorned by a woman with an ass like a zeppelin. Foxy fat ass Kim Kardashian is reportedly very upset that US Weekly recently used her name and likeness in a blurb about an upcoming plus sized fashion line from Jesus-loving teen clothing shop Forever 21. So upset that she made a semi-official statement on her blog : I am a huge fan of Forever 21 and I’m very happy they have expanded their line to include a plus-size range, but I am not in that size category and this article makes it sound like I am! I am a curvy girl and I love my curves, but curvy and plus-sized are two very different things. I work really hard to maintain my curves while staying slim and healthy, so to be classed as a “fuller-figured woman” of extra large proportions is a little offensive. For the record, I am a size 2, not 2XL. Thanks for clearing that up, Kim. We’re sure all the plus-sized girls who fit the new line you’re so happy exists are grateful for your offense. You might as well just make gagging sounds while you say that, and then wipe the fatty cooties onto Nicole Richie, squealing and crossing your fingers to innoculate yourself from the virulent strain of imaginary invasive lipids. And “curvy” is actually the celeb media’s way of saying “Blubberpotamus”.

Lindsay & Mel B posing sexy.

Lindsay Lohan found one person in Hollywood who isn’t snubbing her – Mel B.  They hung out at Peepshow Premiere the other night.  They look cute in some of the pictures but as the night wears on… Lindsay seems to lose about 3 shades of orange and about 10 lbs… weird. Do they look like they might want to get it on?  I can see it happening. Boobie! Lindsay & Mel B looking cute Lindsay so wants her. Lindz & Mel looking rough… Get your fingers out of your mouth! FINGERS OUT OF MOUTH!!

Jen VS. Ang… who looked better last night?

So who looked better last night?  I’m sure I’m not the only one posting a poll like this… I haven’t even looked anywhere else today… Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post’s poll. I mean they’re both gorgeous and most of us can only dream of looking like that, especially at their ages, but I have to nitpick.  Jennifer’s face is way too unhealthy tan looking, and Angelina just looks the same as always… I like Jen’s dress better, just because it was a little more interesting than Angelina’s. I love that Jen got to be there with John Mayer and she looks so happy, but is he REALLY going to stick with her?  He just seems like the type that won’t ever settle down.  He’s a playboy – and he’s only slept with 1/2 the women in Hollywood – he still has the other 1/2 to conquer.   That’s just my humble opinion. OH, and check out the pictures, is Jen trying to tell us something?? Jen & Angelina Angelina Jolie at the Academy Awards Jennifer “SPF 0″ Aniston Touching her belly…. “Soon I’m going to be out to here!” Angelina Jolie, mother of, I lost count. Really, I have to count on my fingers… Maddox, Zahara, Pax, Shiloh, Max, Emme… oh no wait… Jen & John, 2-Gether 4-Now Photos:  Splash News Online

Travis Explains Why His Arm Was In A Sling

Travis Barker was a presenter at the Grammy Awards on Sunday night, along with his former current band mates from Blink 182 . And, as many of you noticed, Barker was sporting a sling on his arm. Was that a new injury or a result from the awful plane accident last September? Backstage, Travis opened up and told TV’s Extra , “I kind of rushed out of the hospital and my hand was numb, but I didn’t tell anybody. I just wanted to get out. The numbness didn’t go away. It was like in four or five of my fingers.” So, Barker recently went in to get the problem addressed. He says, “I really wanted to fix it as soon as possible. I had bad nerve damage, so I just got surgery. I have eight to ten weeks to recover.” Hopefully this time he’ll have a full recovery! [ Image via AP Images .]

Kate Winslet’s Lucky Number 7?

Not a sore loser by any means, Oscar nominated Kate Winslet is keeping her fingers crossed that 2009 will be her year. The Susan Lucci of the Oscars, Kate has been up for the award six different times, and she’s hoping her performance as Nazi prison guard Hannah Schmitz in The Reader will win her the prize. If not, she will be the most nominated loser in the awards show’s history. Winslet explains , “I mean, it is hard to lose, actually. … But having been through it the times that I have done, I have known that I wasn’t going to win on those occasions … you can sort of feel it. You have a radar for it. But this year I would say I can’t actually tell… I’m tremendously lucky that in my life, I have received these nominations and got to play these extraordinary parts.” How humble! [ Image via WENN .]

DJ AM out of the hospital

DJ AM attended the memorial service for Chris Baker – Travis Barker’s assistant who was killed in the plane crash 9 days ago.  Travis was just released from the hospital… DJ AM was released the other day. You can’t see much, but that burn on his neck looks awful… and it looks like his fingers are messed up too.  What a terrible thing to go through… luckily it looks like his face wasn’t burned – that would be the hardest thing (injury-wise) to recover from I think… DJ AM paying respects to Chris Baker DJ AM’s burn injury from the plane crash DJ AM at Chris Baker’s memorial service Photos: Splash News Online